The Situation

by Lamontasaurus

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released December 12, 2011



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Lamontasaurus Vancouver, British Columbia

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Track Name: The Situation
The Situation

This Situation is shaping nicely, everyone is happy
You're seeing colours, you're dancing disco
Gonna take it to the streets
But then the neighbours, those fucking neighbours
Go and call the police, hey "fuck you Jack" "We ain't done nothing"
Were gonna give you the beats

Another Monday a lazy Monday
Work just isn't your scene
Your time is precious and it ain't mine
You fornicate in your sleep
So fuck the bosses and fuck the Captain
They don't do shit you see, oh those little maggots
They're down at the court yard
They boost their own self esteem
Track Name: Artificial Dreams
Artificial Dreams

Here we are, and were walking down the street
And you're going to your Momma’s house
She didn’t know, that you were drinking by the sea
From a dirty old mason jar

What makes you think you are the best
Have you ever second guessed?
When you told me about Billy Sue
I could not believe what she had said
She put a spell on you,
She rooted it deep down in your head

You stole the car and you drove down Hastings street
Trying to beat me to the bar
Just didn’t know that the police women
already know who you are

I guess it’s cause you are the best
Better run and hide, and change your vest
And you know that it’s not my fault
That you’ve been living by artificial streams
But I guess were both out of luck
if were sharing the exact same dream

When you told me about Billy Sue
I could not believe that he was a she
But all the other people knew that
You truly liked to get down on your knees
Track Name: Dirty Little Hygienist
Dirty Little Hygienist

(Lamont/ Berry)

This one's for the Yokel's
Whose teeth were all set wrong
This one’s for the nurse
Whose been waiting far too long
Dr Robert’s keen to clean your gums and such
He’ll poke you with his poker and seduce you with his touch

He’ll sit you down if you are clean
He’ll poke and stroke and make you scream
He makes his money selling dreams
then slams himself in magazines

Used to be a poet, never washed his face
A child of a man, in which his parents had misplaced
Never went to college, but he got a degree
Spent his youth with mother under a florescent trees

Dirty little Hygienist, he’s the hot rod dentist
Dirty little Hygienist, he’s the hot rod dentist

Open Wide, Open Wide
Track Name: Vaseline


If I had a boat and some Vaseline
I'd take it out to sea
I'd take it out and gather those fishes, count them three by three
If I had a boat and some Vaseline
I'd take it out to sea
I'd take back all those fishes for my sweet Marie

Then I would come into port, with my good friend Jim
He's really quiet the funny man, go look at him!
I know you like the rainbow trout, but there's none that I could see
But I brought you back an eel named Neil he's really quiet friendly

I give you to him, To let him swim
In your quim

Maybe it was the squid I ate, that's making me feel grim
Or maybe it was the porno movie, starring my good friend Jim
Maybe it was the crumpet I had just after tea
Or maybe it's the fact you prefer those fishes, well over me
What will I do, go back to school
Track Name: Sports


Sports, sports, sports, sports
I don’t really give a fuck
Sports, sports, sports, sports
Maybe I'm shit out of luck

To understand this obsession with my friends
The cheering, screaming, deeming the gambling ...too

Sports, sports, sports, sports blah
Sports, sports, sports, sports blah

When you’re at home all alone
Do you dream of the teams

Well it’s not just an obsession with my friends
It’s a ritual enjoyed by almost all humans
There are certain things that matter in the schools
It ain’t colours or creativity just the rules

Sports, sports, sports, sports
I don’t really give a fuck
Sports, sports, sports, sports
Maybe I'm shit out of luck
Track Name: Cyborgs of the Plains
Cyborgs of the Plains

I've seen through time and it is purple
But the leaves they are still green
Coffee's only a dime but it's yellow
Stir in the sugar and the tangerine

But the cyborgs they rule the plains
And you, you best behave
There's no War but there's too much steam
No more Mountain side, no more mountain streams

The cyborgs they are alright, that's what you must believe
Now that the problem here is no longer between you or me
You better sit and smile, because the thought police
Will grab you and rape you dreams
There's no war cause there's no one left to fight
Gone are religious feuds there gone with the night
and they took my dear friend Jane
Took her a way and wasted her on the plains